The Insurance Agent:

As a large insurance company, we agents depend on Allstate to help us secure the financial well-being of our clients.

For those of you who insist on paying attention, and absolutely refuse to give the rest of us a good laugh, we can categorize these modifying phrases for a closer look:

prepositional phrases:

Mando Jacobs was found stabbed more than 20 times by the woman who owned the house.

Stabbed more than 20 times, Mando Jacobs was found by the woman who owned the house.

or:

The woman who owned the house found Mando Jacobs, who was stabbed more than 20 times.

dependent clauses:

He wrote to them about his experience when he found pen and paper.

When he found pen and paper, he wrote to them about his experience.

participial phrases:

Soaring ever higher in a summer afternoon thermal, I saw an eagle.

I saw an eagle soaring ever higher in a summer afternoon thermal.

So much of grammar is common sense: put the modifying phrase next to the thing it modifies. But if you’re willing to sacrifice your reputation to give the rest of us a good laugh, stick it in anywhere. It’s cheaper for us than a comedy club, and there’s no two-drink minimum.